


Appointments

by Captain446



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Counselling, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Lovers to Friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-10-12 06:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17462528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain446/pseuds/Captain446
Summary: Set a few months post break up, Lexa has begun working on the problems that ended the relationship that gave her the best things in her life. Isolated from most of her friends and family she begins to rebuild herself, but it may still be too late to save some of those friendships.The story follows the lives of our favourite couple and their close knit group of friends.





	1. Session 5

She sat on the left side of the love seat in the familiar office looking around the room as she waited. Lost in thought staring at the minor imperfections on the wall beside her, she missed the sound of the door opening and footsteps enter the room.

“ Good Morning Lexa, how’s it going?”

Snapping her head around to address the voice, “Hey Roma, not as bad as I expected this morning - the roads were bad but it seems like the city didn’t forget how to drive this time.”

The shorter rotund woman smiled brightly at Lexa before taking a seat at her desk opposite. “So, how has your week been going?”

Dropping her hands to her lap, and crossing her ankle over her knee as she leaned back to answer, “Well actually, I took Tuesday off to help my sister manage my niece’s sick day - which sounds miserable - but was really nice. She slept most of the day so An and I just hung out and chatted for most of it. It was really great to be able to be around her for so long at one time. Up until Clarke and I broke up, we were together all the time. I feel like this might be heading towards something really good for us.”

“Oh that is good! You were saying that you and her wife had a disagreement around the time of the break-up is that right?” Lexa felt a knot in her stomach start to form. She had truly loved Raven, and was thrilled that Anya had found someone so well matched to her blunt and direct personality. But asking Anya to strain her marriage when her and Clarke had split, when she knew how Raven had felt, would have been completely unfair.

“ Yes, I understood where Raven’s concerns came from at the time but I felt I behaved as appropriately as I could, given the circumstances.” She felt her face harden and her jaw lock, as the tension built in her shoulders. This wasn’t a discussion she was ready to have.

Over the past 6 months or so, Roma has been working to pull apart, the emotional entanglement that was, Alexandra Woods’ life. Some weeks she was able to think calmly and clearly about the various challenges over the last year and a half, and sometimes the conversation was kept lighter. It was always emotionally exhausting and left Lex feeling like she’d run a marathon but she had grow to appreciate the structure they had built. Still, Roma almost always understood when to change topics for a while.

“ How about work? I know your big project has a deadline before the New Year - how are you handling that?”

“Well I think...” Her mind skipped back three years to New Years Eve.

~ Clarke had her first big gallery opening on NYE that year and they were all in black tie for the event. Lexa heard the familiar sound of Clarke’s laugh and looked up from her phone to see the sea of blonde tumbling around as she threw her head back laughing at whatever Raven or Octavia had said. Smiling she looked down at her phone and tried to finish up the email she was sending out for work. ~

“Umm, yeah - it’s an important project I’ve been working on. It’s actually for my HR department, I’m trying to get board approval for some extended employee benefits and I’d like them to take effect prior to the new year.” She felt herself deflate thinking about it, as she did often when speaking or thinking about work these days.

”That is good. Have you been able to leave work alone when you are at home as we discussed a few weeks ago?”

Lexa thought about it for a second,” Overall, I’d say I am. I joined a soccer team for the season, so it’s filled a bit of time, but honestly without Clarke or work I feel like I have too much time for everything else. It’s been a hard feeling, noticing how much extra time I have at home if I’m not doing anything for work at home. I really am understanding where she was coming from, and to be honest - I don’t know why she stuck around as long as she did.”

~ She was hunched over her laptop in her office when it close suddenly in front of her, “ What the hell?!” She looked up intime to see the playful blue eyes turn sad and her shoulders drop a bit.

“ I’ve been calling you for 10 minutes, babe. Dinner is ready and I thought we could actually sit down together a talk over dinner.” She hopped off the front of the desk and walked around it before pulling Lexas chair out and plopping down on her lap.

” What do we need to talk about? I don’t really have the time to step away from this tonight...” she reached through Clarke’s arms to open the screen black up.

“Nothing important I guess, just to be together. Do you want to come out and grab your plate or do I need to bring it in for you”

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll come grab it in a minute.” Thankfully, she had stumbled to bed for a couple hours but was still up before Clarke to find the kitchen cleaned from dinner and her plate still made up on the counter. She felt a pang of regret for forgetting about it but hoovled it down as breakfast before getting ready for work. ~

She looked up to Roma’s questioning eyes, “ Lexa, she loved you very much. That’s why she was with you.”

This narrative was getting old, it was such a circular argument. Yes she loved me, I was a dick, I pushed her away, now she doesn’t love me anymore, but apparently I still need to make myself better than I was even though I don’t get to be with her. “ I know. Hey, do you mind if we cut this a bit short today - I need to take care of something?” She said as she stood up and reached for her jacket.

“ I don’t need an excuse for you to leave if you have enough for one day, Lexa. You’re in control of the pace we take, but please just let me know that you need to be finished for that reason, not a getaway excuse.” The older woman winked at me, and I smile back. Being called out on my attempts to shelter myself has been nice - I’m more aware that I’m doing it now I think.

” I’ll text you later to schedule for next week.” I close the door behind me and head for the elevator. My chest aches like I’m holding my breathe, I need the fresh air from outside.


	2. In-and-Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke’s night out with the gang. And feelings that she is clearly more interested in avoiding than handling appropriately.

Clarke’s eyes scanned the room for any sign of her friends. Not seeing them over either shoulder of the guy she was dancing with, she turned herself around in his arms. She took note of the minor time lag in her vision and rolled her eyes at not pacing her drinks more appropriately tonight. 

“You’re so fucking hot. You wanna get out of here?” Boy of the night half slurred and half yelled too close to her ear as he kissed her neck. His roaming hands were getting sloppier and more bold - she was barely into Anton, or Atom, or whatever his name was to begin with but this wasn’t what she was interested in tonight in the slightest.

She spun back around and put some distance between them,”My friends are waving me over, have a good night!” She called back, and made her exit. She weaves through the crowd to the bar, and asked the bartender for an ice water - which she quickly downed, before leaving a couple dollars tip on the bar and continueing through the crowd until she almost ran head first into Raven. 

“Clarkey!” The regularly quick-witted Latino threw her arms around Clarke’s neck and swayed back and forth for a second with her. Mental note - Raven is totally loaded, good to know.“What are you doing over here?! Mr.Tall-Dark-and-Handsome is dancing with some other blonde chick over there?!?” 

Clarke grinned over Ravens shoulder to Anya, but her smile dropped when she saw her standing frustratingly stoic in an alarmingly familiar and out of place manner behind her. God those sisters never looked like they belonged in a club until either started to move, but god was it even like day and night. Both of them! They’d just stand there, entirely too awkward and still just waiting for the social cue to dance was given, and then they could both move like it’s what they were paid to do! And—No, stop. Clarke chided herself for letting her mind go to that place. She needed to sober up before her mind started taking more trips without her permission.

”Hey! I’m super hungry, when you guys are ready to get out of here, I’d be really into some In-and-Out burger!” She shouted to the space between them so they’d both hear.

Anya looked her in the eyes, “I’ll grab our coats, want to find Linc and Octavia?”

”Oh come on! Our nights done?!” Raven poured at her wife. 

“Don’t pretend you aren’t pumped about food and sleep right now.” Anya smirked as Ravens jaw dropped at the realization that she’d be eating big greasy food soon.

Clarke grabbed her hand and led her through the crowd she hadn’t scanned yet and found Octavia and Lincoln grabbing at each other more than dancing. Clarke grabbed both of Octavia’s shoulders from behind and spoke directly into her ear, “Hey, food and home - I’m over this. That okay?!” She got a quick thumbs up from Linc and a dopey smile from Octavia. 

The group meet Anya at the coat check for there jackets and stepped out into the frosty air outside the club. Raven interlocked arms with Clarke as the led the group down a couple blocks to the 24h In-and-Out that they often ended up at during their late at night adventures. 

Raven was bickering over their shoulders at Octavia as Anya and Lincoln provided peanut gallery, which left Clarke to drift off into the depths of her own mind as they walked along. 

She thought about the upcoming gallery show that she was prepping for. The stresses of running a show. The dark pieces from the dark space in her head the last year and a half. Lexa - Nope. Moving on. Next!

She thought about the other big project she working on. A renovation her, Octavia and Lincoln were doing to their condo. The colour they had chosen for the living room. The colours her and Lexa had chosen for their - Stop! No.

She thought about the way Lexas hands found her hips when they danced -

How Lex would throw her arm around Clarke’s shoulder and make concerned eye contact when Clarke’s arm didn’t soon after, reach around her waist - 

How many times this group of 5’s trip to In-and-Out, used to be a group of 6 - 

How she had stopped drinking all together because she almost immediately couldn’t handle what her mind reminded her of when she did. 

The group rounded the final corner, completely unaware of Clarke’s internal crisis. Joyfully chatting having moved on from whatever they had been lightheartedly arguing about. Raven reaches for the door as it swung out towards them and Lexa stepped out directly into the middle of the semi-circle of what used to be her closest friends and family.

All conversation stopped, and they all exchanged glances, unable to find words. 

Drunk Octavia got there first, “You’ve got damn nerve. Being here, at this time-“ 

“O, enough!” Lincoln’s booming voice immediately silenced her, something that happened so seldomly, you could count on one hand. 

The daggers of Ravens eyes bore into Lexa as she shook her head,but thankfully said nothing. Lexa wasn’t sure she could handle Ravens tongue right now.

”You have GOT to be kidding me!!” Clarke burst out and pushed through the group into the restaurant. Followed by Octavia and Raven. 

“Hey” Lincoln nodded to Lexa,”I love you, can we got for a run in the morning?”

”Dude, it’s like 2am, if we go - we’d normally be going out in like 4 hours?!” 

“Alright can we go for 10am then? Please.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” She grinned, before looking at Anya and dropping her smile.

”Scathing. Do I really suck all happiness out of you?”

”I-“

” Relax, I’m kidding. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

”Will you?” She didn’t mean her words to bite, she had pushed Anya to cut contact with her in order to sustain her relationship with Raven. But, it still hurt. She pushed her way passed her two siblings and briskly walked towards her car.

Lincoln and Anya entered the restaurant and rejoined the group at the till quickly adding in their orders. Nobody mentioned the encounter until they were all sorted and nearing the end of their meal. Raven was the first to speak up about it,” WTF kind of luck is it to run into Woods here?”

”That’s what I was saying! She knows we come here all the time on Saturday nights, was she trying to start something”

”Relax O, she’s not trying to start anything and we don’t own this place, she can come and go as she pleases. That was actually pretty harsh to jump on her like that, I’m sure she didn’t love running into us either” Lincoln’s eyebrows shot up as he heard Clarke speak, it was almost exactly the points he was about to make. Which didn’t entirely make sense,”Clarke you seemed almost equally outraged, actually” he respectfully shot at her.

She stopped and thought back to the encounter, “Oh, uh, I actually didn’t entirely intend that how it sounded.” She was about to try and explain how it had been the tipping point after an evening of being unable to avoid the woman in her mind but decided to leave it at that instead of complicating the conversation. 

“Well, I’m sure she didn’t take it like that.” He quietly added. 

“That sounds like her own problem” Raven shot across the table.

”Maybe try to express that when you see her tomorrow” Anya offered to Lincoln. 

“Hold on, you’re seeing her tomorrow?!” Raven spat before looking to Octavia for support. 

“Hey, I’m not his gatekeeper, also - I’m sure Clarke understands that Lexas brother is still going to see her, even if she’s a piece of shit.” Clarke looking down nodded along. Raven shifted to look directly at Anya, who unsurprisingly wouldn’t make eye contact at all. 

The five of them finished what was left of their midnight snack and broke off to fetch respective taxis home.

After several minutes in silence in the back of the taxi, Clarke turned to Lincoln, “Are you really seeing her tomorrow?” She asked.

The disarmed hurt and worry on Clarke’s face wasn’t one that Lincoln was used to seeing on her when Lexa came up anymore, “Yea, a run, why?”

” I just... could you please let her Know that I.. I didn’t mean to... fuck” 

“I’ll tell her you say you’re are sorry, and that you didn’t intend to direct frustration at her.”

”Yes! Please! Thank you!”

”You know, eventually, you two getting together to hash things out might help you both move on, and maybe help avoid these kinds of misunderstandings.” Clarke went to argue his point but realized she didn’t have the energy anymore. Instead she turned and looked out the window, watching the world pass by for the remainder of the ride. 

 


	3. Just A Run

As Lexa stepped out of her condo building foyer, she zipped up the front of her light running jacket, thinking she need something warmer after today. She had been crossing her fingers the weather would stay as warm as it had for mid-November so she could maintain her comfortable morning runs, but she knew eventually luck would fade and with it would go her personal discipline to face the cold.

She crossed the street and aimed across the city block sized park opposite her building and aimed in the direction of Lincoln’s place. Checking her watch quickly, she did quick math and established that she had 30 minutes for a jog that would take her 20 tops. Slowing her pace considerably towards a bouncey quick walk, she let her eyes wander around as she tried to absorb her surroundings. Some kids were playing ball hockey on the side street, and a little girl had her mother fussing about, trying to get mittens on her tiny hands as they left their front door. The light from the morning was one of Lexas favourites, strong enough to extinguish the pockets of darkness from the night, but the sun wasn’t high enough in the sky in the city to be in your eyes yet. 

~ Lexa parked her car, but left the keys in the ignition as she tore into the house as she continued to mental chastise herself for leaving her work bag at home on the dining room table. 

“Hey babe!? Are you done for the day? I was just getting some stuff out to paint, the natural lighting is perfect today - but if you’re home, let’s go get a coffee and read at that coffeehouse you like!” Clarke’s blonde locks appeared as she rounded the corner wearing one of Lexas old dress shirts. She did it often, but it made the fabric across her chest taute, like some sexy movie cliche - but Lexa loved it.

”Can’t, just out of my morning meeting but I forgot - that” as she reached past her to the table and snagged her black leather bag with she planner and laptop. How she possibly left the house without it, she doesn’t know but she’s already a couple hours behind for the day so taking the couple minutes to run home and grab it was really going to effect her already full day. 

“Do you have meetings all morning? Or could you maybe just grab a coffee with me to go? I could even just ride with you to work and go from there.” Her pleading eyes nearly broke Lexas heart, a feeling which immediately made her a little frustrated, normally Clarke was super understanding of her schedule and it felt like she was just trying to guilt her. She must know she’d rather be at home with her on a Saturday if it was any choice she had but it was totally out of the question to waste any more time when her analysis had to be submitted by midnight. 

“I really can’t, I’m sorry. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night with Raven and Anya?”

” Oh yes, of course!” The sad pleading eyes brightened up at the mention of dinner. “ You remembered, well done!” She grabbed the lapels of Lexas jacket and pulled her in for a tight kiss.

” Of course I did!” She hadn’t, her phones calendar had given her the event notification on the way into the driveway, but that’s all the same. “ I really do have to go though, Love you.” And she turned to head out the door. ~

The next day would go on to lead to some of Lexas biggest mistakes that she’d never forget. As she rounded the corner onto the last block before Lincoln’s address she thought about how easy it would have been to have had coffee with Clarke that day, how there hasn’t been a day the last couple months that she wouldn’t have been able to carve out time for a coffee, or get away from the office at a time before restaurants are all typically closed.

She was so deep in thought, that she didn’t register the woman stepping out onto the sidewalk in front of her was actually Clarke herself until she had almost collided with her. 

“Wow, Lex, twice in two days - that’s like a record for us...” 

“Including the time we were actually together” Lexa froze, what the fuck was that. Clarke’s face didn’t react until Lexa her the sounds of her laughing - god that sound was like breathing for the first time in months. 

“You’re totally right, you know. Right! I forgot Lincoln said you two were running this AM, heads up - he’s not doing to well this morning” The smile on her face didn’t reach her eyes and it had Lexas insides screaming at her to fix the hurt she could read on Clarke’s face.

” What are you up to this morning, pretty early after a late night?” 

“ Yeah, I guess - I’ve had some stuff I’ve wanted to put onto a canvas and the light is great right now for studio work so I was just heading up there now for a few hours” 

“Right, makes sense - I won’t keep you then. It was lovely to see you Clarke.” 

“You to Lex-“ Lexas heart howled hearing that name of Clarke’s lips, it sounded so comfortable and safe, “ I mean it, I know things have been a weird dynamic but if you are hanging out with Linc, don’t feel like I can’t be in the same room as you - you can always come around or come up to our place. I’ll get going though - see you around”. As she walked away Lexa stood stunned at the interaction. What did she mean by ‘our place’? As she turned back to see the building Clarke had come from was Lincoln’s building address her blood stopped circulating. There’s no way. The had to be a reason that was not ‘that’, explaining why Clarke was at Lincoln’s the morning after a night of drinking...

As she buzzed the suite number, and waited for a reply, she could bring herself to draw a full breath. 

“ Hello?” A firm female voice came across  the intercom. 

“It’s Lexa, I’m just letting Lincoln for a run.” 

“Doubt he’ll be doing that, but come on up. Unit 4” Lexa had never been so relieved to her Octavia’s voice. Right, Jesus, what the hell - of course Clarke lives with Octavia in some combination with Lincoln, that makes sense. She jogged up the stairs to meet with the door number that read ‘4’. It was opened a crack when she arrived in front of the door, but she gave a knock and she cautiously pushed it open. 

“Hey Woods” Octavia said coming from the kitchen with what looked like a couple mugs of tea. As she set them on coasters by the couch in the living room she made eye contact with Lexa that made her feel more vulnerable that she was used to feeling. 

“Hi Octavia, I’ll be out of your hair quickly, Linc had wanted to go for a run this AM” she shifted uncomfortably on the balls and heels of her feet. 

“Hey babe! Get yourself together and come out, Lexas here...for your run” She was smirking by the last part and her eyebrows popped as she crossed her arms looking towards the closed bedroom door as it creaked open slowly. 

“ I’m so sorry Lex, honestly - I entirely forgot we were going to go out this AM. I got totally trashed when we got home from the bar last night and I’m absolutely wrecked right now. Can we go later this week or next?” He was leaning up against the door and truly looked awful - I sight Lincoln Woods was rarely. 

“Yeah, of course. Any AM really or any PM except Thursday’s. I’m sorry, I should have texted or called to confirm. Feel better, yeah?” 

“For sure, sorry again - I should have cancelled, just totally forgot”

”No worries, I’ll catch you soon. Good to see you guys” and with that she turned to leave. She hadn’t gotten to the top of the stairs before she heard the door close behind her. 

“ Hey Woods!” She turned to face Octavia  a few feet behind her looking unsure - which for anyone who knew the girl, was unusual itself. “I just wanted to apologize for last night, I was a jackass when we ran into you - and there’s honestly no excuse for that. Your history with Clarke is between the two of you and I be better to remember that. You’re Lincoln’s sister and you are welcome here and around him respecting any boundaries Clarke sets between you for being in her house” She looked away and nodded, “You look and sound really good, I know I didn’t project it last night but it really was good to see you. I think about you a lot.”

Lexa was totally shell shocked, her mouth gapped she just sort of nodded along to what Octavia was saying, “Thanks Octavia, that means a lot”. They both stared at one another a few moments longer before awkwardly turning their separate ways. 

As Lexa’s feet hit the sidewalk outside the condo building she found that they were taking her in the familiar direction of a coffee shop she once knew, and within 20minutes she was standing outside an urban warehouse door with two coffees and a couple blueberry muffins. She knocked loudly five times and right as she was about to leave, sure that the space was now occupied by someone new. The barn door entrance swung open and a disheveled paint covered Clarke stood before her. Looking completely shocked for several moments before recovering, “You’re still the only one that knocks on this door”.

”Even if my presence wasn’t entirely an intrusion on your life, I figure this is your private space and you should be given the option to see people or not. Even if you don’t have time to share a coffee with me, I figured you might want one” Lexa braced as she waited for Clarke to take the gentle out she had extended to her that wouldn’t require explanation, but it never came.

”Only if that’s my blueberry muffin too” she replied as she stepped aside, giving Lexa space to enter her studio.

 


End file.
